Pre-Project Procrastination

I am currently preparing to begin writing my next script and… I’ve been in this state for the past three months. Sigh.

It’s not that I’m not doing anything related to the project. I’m in a research phase, reading books on the historical event the story will cover, but I was planning (hoping?) to have been in the writing phase by now. There's a bit of a malaise which I think is somewhat normal when starting up writing projects like this.

For a confluence of reasons, it's been a slow ramp towards the actual writing— day job responsibilities, family responsibilities, research, and the biggest impediment, that scared feeling heading into a big project.

Pulling the string on that last notion, calling it ‘scared’ is doing a lot of work on its own. This starts with imposter syndrome, questioning if I’m capable and up to the challenge to tell this story. After getting past that, the worry of being properly informed, wanting and needing to be well armed with information and understanding of my subject matter. Finally, and many times the biggest hurdle, getting mentally prepared to be all in on this journey. You can’t be half in, only working on the story when it’s convenient, but have to make time every single day.

There’s a moment before each project where you have this real talk with yourself about the honest accountability you need to hold yourself to. To finish it in a reasonable amount of time, you have to give it the attention it requires.

Speaking of time, an added layer for this new project specifically is the desire to develop a process that will bring this story to bear in a few months not years.

I’ve written several scripts, sometimes in an efficient fashion for the first draft, that inevitable hang on the vine. Sometimes I come back to them later but end up taking over a year to do several rewrites. I want to accelerate that this time around. So this adds extra pressure on the starting line.

But all these emotions are about the life cycle of any project. I feel excited by the idea of the project. Then energized in a flow state during the initial brain-dump of ideas. Then begin to question if I have enough material or ability to make this something worth while. Then the second whim of confidence that I can and want to, in fact, write this story.

Which brings us to the now, that period right before you begin to write. The second guessing and procrastination creep in (again). It’s that moment when you stand at the foothills of a mountain looking up, exhausted by just the idea of the climb. There is one more pep talk you need to give yourself to take that first step to ascend the mountain.

I want to do this. I need to write this story. I will summit this mountain.

The beginning is always exhilarating and stressful at the same time. But the more you do it, the better you get. And I’ve learned that having a specific intention (trying a new method) for this journey will push yourself while having purpose (setting a deadline) is what will keep you honest and focused.

So breathe deep, trust yourself. Here we go, that first step…